The Great Adventures of Catfish and Joker
by Catfish Johnson
Summary: Crazy and bizarre things happen to two friends as they live their lives and just have fun being chill.


**Joker and Catfish Adventures!**

**Chapter One****: **

By: Bryan Johnson and John Morris

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

That damn alarm. There was nothing in the entire universe that Joker hated more then that damn alarm clock. And considering that deep down, Joker was an incredibly bitter and spiteful person, this made the alarm clock a very hated thing.

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

He threw his fist down onto the sleep button, and the beeping stopped. Every morning he hoped that he'd hit it hard enough to break it. It was a stupid desire, he knew, because he'd just have to buy a new one. But the noise irritated him to the point where the first thing that came to mind in the morning was an act of needless destruction. Every morning started the exact same miserable way.

In fact, he wondered, just how many miserable things could possibly happen in one morning? The alarm clock was one. The fact that it was Monday was two. He sat up, lost his balance, and fell over onto the floor. That would be three.

Still half asleep, he made his way into the kitchen. The coffee maker was operating normally, and a fresh jar of coffee sat ready for drinking. He debated over whether to count that as a good thing, and begin keeping count of all the good things that happened, but decided that coffee in the morning was a basic necessity, and shouldn't count as a blessing.

As he poured himself a cup, he noticed a small note sitting on the table. "_Dear Joker,_" it read, "_I had to leave very early this morning, and didn't have time to renew my subscription to Vogue Magazine. Can you call them up and do that for me? Thank you SO much! ^_^ -Kupon_"

Joker growled and added number four to the list. He popped a bagel into the toaster before realizing that he was out of cream cheese. Five. After it popped up, he added butter to it and stepped into the living room, where he found Catfish passed out on the couch Joker sat on every morning while eating breakfast. Six.

He groaned and instead sat at the computer chair, and looked at the list of important phone numbers on the wall. Vogue Magazine was in the middle, between his cousin Loki's cell number and the hospital. He dialed the number and bit into his bagel while waiting for an answer. Cream cheese would've made the bagel taste _much _better, but this would have to do.

"Hello!" a woman replied cheerfully on the other end of the phone. "Thank you for calling Vogue!"

"Yes, I'd like to-"

"Please hold while we connect you to a live operator." An electronic version of Jingle Bells began playing, despite it being mid-April. Joker sighed and turned the television on, wondering if this should count as bad event number seven.

"In today's top story," the morning anchorman said, "a child burns down his house after receiving a Playstation 3 for his birthday instead of the Xbox 360 that he wanted."

"I don't blame him," Joker muttered. The anchorman had dark circles under his eyes, and sounded like he had had a long night. Joker began to fantasize what horrible misadventure the man might've had the night before when the music on the phone came to a sudden stop.

"Thank you for your patience!" a very feminine-sounding man said. "Please hold for just a few more minutes!" The Jingle Bells music began playing again as Joker cursed loudly.

Catfish stirred a little, and looked up. "Hey, what cereal do you have for breakfast?"

Joker took a bite out of his bagel to prevent himself from yelling at him. "I don't know," he said after swallowing, "let me look in my cabinet."

There was no cereal in the cabinet, only oatmeal. If he wasn't at seven before, he was now. "I hope you like oatmeal," he called out, but Catfish had already fallen back asleep. Joker sighed and began preparing his oatmeal.

As he began to recollect how miserable everything was, a yawning noise came from behind him. Sauun, his pet demon, stretched in the basket he slept in, and began rubbing his eyes. The little guy was maybe a foot and a half tall, with small wings that would never actually support his weight. His skin was mostly black, with various red and orange ripples that had a molten-looking effect. His appearance was very animal-like, with a tail, claws, and horns, but Joker could never quite say what animal he really looked like.

Sauun looked up at him and smiled, before running over and hugging his leg. Joker scratched his pet's head and thought to himself that no matter how bitter he might feel in the morning, it really didn't take much to put him in the best of moods.

"Hello," a voice on the phone said suddenly, "how may I help you?"

"Ah, I'd like to renew a subscription."

"Okay, all we need is your credit card number and address."

Joker gave both, and hung up the phone after everything was taken care of. "I'm going to work," he announced to the groggy Catfish. "Help yourself to the kitchen. Not that you wouldn't have anyway." He threw on a light jacket and stepped out the door.

---

Catfish sat up from the couch and waved to the retreating Joker. He turned to see two huge black eyes staring at him. Catfish smiled and pet the anxious demon who jumped around happily. Finally realizing that he was at Joker's, he wondered how in the hell he had gotten there and where in the world his pants had gone to. After about ten seconds of thinking he decided to give up and hope for the best that last night (which he couldnt remember) wouldn't be regretable. Catfish proceeded to raid Jokers closet to find the spare swimming trunks that he left here for whenever their friend Amber had her random pool partys. Now finally being fully dressed, Catfish proceeded to the kitchen to raid yet another of jokers accomidies, his fridge.

Catfish looked through the fridge and finally found the greatest breakfast a man..or fish...or cat at that matter, could find, a watermelon. After he cut about a quarter of the watermelon off, he put it in the fridge and took the rest of his melony meal outside to eat on the deck. Catfish sat down and enjoyed his meal as he watched the tourists run around Sunrise like they owned the damn place. "God I hate tourists, i still dont understand why we need them all the time, all they do is get in our way.. and take what decent damn girls we have...isnt that right Sauun?" Catfish commented as he through some melon to the now exstatic demon.

Catfish let the demon back inside and decided to do the dishes for Joker (he had no clue if had broken anything or any of that, so he thought he'd cover his ass anyway.) Catfish had just gotten done with the dishes when Jokers phone had started to ring.

Catfish contenplating whether if anyone knew he was here, figured it was safe to answer the phone.

"Hello?" Catfish said defensively.

"Hey..Catfish is that you?" someone said.

"Ehh..maybe, why who is this?"

"(silence) Catfish..are you serious...its me?" the voice said.

Catfish trying to think who this random girls voice was started to get a little worried that last night didn't go to well.

"Catfish your immposible I swear. Its me Amber"

Catfish plopped down on the couch with a sigh as he was overcome with relief that it was only Amber.

"Oh, hi Amber, long time since ive heard your voice." Catfish said.

Amber started to laughing and saying something Catfish couldnt understand to a person at her end

"Umm, why is that funny?" Catfish stated with confusion.

"Wow Cat, you are in for it now. Obviously you dont remember but, there was a party at the Luxons base, and you got pretty messed up." She said still laughing,

"Oh...that would explain this splitting headache then..among other things. But still, what does that have to do with me and you talking and why is it funny again?" He stated now even more confused then he was before.

"Well, i was just making a point really, I was there to..so yah...Oh and to tell you why thats funny, its what you did last night."

Catfish now was seriously dumbfounded and was getting kind of angry as he really just wanted Amber to tell him what he did so he can go back to sleep this bastard of a headache off.

"Elaborate please Amber, i really dont know what i did, and i can't remember anything after talking to that commuinst turtle clan elementalist..whats his name Argo?"

Amber is now having a ball telling the situation to who Catfish assumes to be her roomates.

"WELL" Amber said cutely. "You and Argo kind of got into a fight. and it was pretty epic. Its pretty bad when theres two powerful meteor showers pelting the dance floor. You ruined my date i hope you know. Ive never seen a man run away so fast..." Amber said drifting off with the last words.

Catfish sat there wide eyed thinking about how drunk he had to of gotten to fight with Argo, even though he hated him, he was usually not that dumb to challenge a Luxon champion. Then realizing that her date had no relevence to any of it at all/

"Huh, wait your date, what the hell does that have to do with what happend. So who won me or Argo?" Catfish asked eagerly awaiting the answer that he won.

"Well, after the sound system got an ice trident thrown through it, Diaz knocked you out with his fist. but i guess you were winning" Amber said barely silencing her need to burst out in laughter.

Catfish took a mental note to hurt Diaz the next time he saw him.

"Oh ok, well that at least explains the headache and why I'm here at Jokers, but why were my pants gone.." Catfish said drifting like Amber before.

"What, umm I don't know what happpend with your pants, but i know Kira wants to talk to you about...something" She replied.

Catfish now understood all of the events for his girlfriend for about 3 months now, Kira, had been at the party and was one of Ambers roomates, also most likely one of the females laughing in the background of the phone.

"So, is that what you wanted Amber, I have to go to work soon." Catfish said finally annoyed by her.

"Umm yeah, Kira says she loves you, bye Cat have fun." Amber said innocently like she always does when she annoys people, she thinks it ceases the annoyance..it doesn't.

"Yah, love her too, peace Amber" Catfish said, finally being able to hang up and get to the docks where he had some tours to give of the bay.

"God, I can tell this will be a great day" Catfish said sarcastically as he locked the door to Jokers house.


End file.
